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Stupid Policy

Everyone looks forward to mid-week. Every Wednesday or Thursday, a woman from the agency which owns the site comes around and hands out paychecks. Temp Attorneys, however, who are members of any of the "other" agencies that staff the project do not receive paychecks. Here is an e-mail that one of my colleagues (who works for one of those "other" agencies) received from his/her recruiter. The e-mail dates back to 1/20/06. Relevant portions are highlighted in bold. I thought I would leave in the non-relevant parts to give you a flavor of what was going on earlier on in the project.

Hi All,

First of all, Thank You for your patience with the {computer software} delays that resulted in the unexpected “days off” today and tomorrow. [little did we know that in two short weeks we were going to have a whole week off! -ttt]. As you know, the first few weeks of a project are always the toughest, while systems are being put in place and everyone is settling in, adjusting to a new work environment and its unique culture.

Second, I just wanted to remind everyone of the importance of making a good first impression in these initial days in order to establish the client’s confidence in your reliability and commitment to the project. While the feedback we’ve gotten from the client has been extremely positive, we wanted to make you aware of one issue that did arise, so that you can avoid this problem going forward.

Apparently, within the first work week, there were a number of people with sudden needs to be absent, arrive late, leave early, or otherwise take time off. While most of these people were not members of {agency's} team, it was a large enough number of people overall that the client flagged it as an issue to raise with everyone.

Unfortunately, the nature of this project does not allow flexibility in the number of hours worked, or when you work them. As you know, the hours are 9:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m., 6 days per week. While we understand that emergencies do happen and that things like doctor’s appointments are important, “eleventh-hour” notice of a previously scheduled commitment is not acceptable. If you know ahead of time that you will need to take time away from the project, you must let us and the site supervisor know as far in advance as possible. Just so you know, because of the size of the project and the fact that it is being staffed by multiple agencies, the client is being extremely vigilant, noting not only which individual contractors are the most reliable and productive, but which agency’s teams perform better overall than the others. We know you are head and shoulders above the rest!

Finally, we apologize that we have not come over to visit with you, which ordinarily we would have done by now. It turns out that {agency which owns the site} has a policy of not allowing competitors into their space [and if it were up to {Anita}, she would be happy for us to come by]. We are disappointed about this policy because, as most of you know, we do like to stay in touch personally as much as possible – to say hello, to hear about any issues or concerns you may have, etc. So since we can't come to see you, we will be finding other ways to keep in touch and express to you our appreciation of all your hard work.

As always, please call or e-mail us any time if there's anything you want to talk about relating to the project [or anything else] – We’re here.

Have a great weekend!

{Sally}

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here was the solution devised in response to the apparent lockout: {it seems as if Tom the Temp has created his very own lexicon. Please distinguish the term "lockout" from "lockdown"}.

2/28/06

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to let you know that I will be at the Starbucks on the corner of 29th and Park Ave. South from 3 – 4 p.m. again tomorrow, Wednesday, March 1.

If you feel like taking a break during that time, please come by for refreshments!

Have a great evening,

{Sally}

In order to pick up their checks, your telling me that a group of my fellow co-workers have to trek up to some street corner in Manhattan like a bunch of hookers? Oh, Give Me A Freaking Break! This policy appears to make no sense; it seems vindictive and mean-spirited, and it appears as if its only justification is to spite the other agencies. The temps, as they usually do, have to pay the price. It's freezing out -- many people risk becoming sick, and many of them do not have health insurance. The temps also have to put up with the added annoyance of clocking out and losing a half an hour worth of pay. It appears as if there are a group of people on my project who are being treated like second-class citizens. If this stupid policy does not cease, or if this policy is not justified in some way, I am going to publicly announce the name of the agency that is responsible.

This is something that Anita should have thought about before signing the agency contract. Once again, she was probably too entranced by the glass-encased cubicles to realize otherwise.

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"Stench Soup"

This is disgusting, but it has to be told:

Today, I got sick at work. At around midday, I decided that I would make quick use of the bathroom. BIG MISTAKE! They must have turned off the ventilation system for the weekend. The stench was so overwhelmingly putrid that as soon as I walked into the cramped, foul-smelling bathroom, I gagged and almost threw up into the sink. It wasn't pretty. I took away from this experience two very important lessons: a) never use the restroom on the weekends b) during the week, never use the restroom after 3 p.m. Certainly, there is a hard-working custodian on-site who tries his best to deal with an untenable situation. Constantly cleaning two small, cramped bathrooms -- which are constantly being used by over 100 people -- is, however, a losing proposition. If Anita only had kept this in mind when choosing a site (instead of focusing on how many glass-encased cubicles there were going to be), we would be in much better shape.

I have an idea that can save the American taxpayers millions of dollars:

By way of the Los Angeles Times, I have learned about a new military initiative. The Pentagon actually has a multimillion dollar research and development program to make weapons that can stink an enemy into surrender.These weaponized stinks are pressurized into "canisters" that are to be launched at enemy troops, crowds of protesters, or any other targets deemed worthy of effervescent smells. They even come in different aromas. One of the "malodorants" (the Pentagon term) bears the label "Bathroom Malador" and it is described as having "a strongly fecal smell, with sharp notes of spoiled eggs and an undertone of rotting rodent." "Stench Soup" has such a foul odor that it "fills the mind with white noise." Wow!

Why not call up the Pentagon and inform them that we have come up with our very own version of "Stench Soup"? Just an idea.

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