"Stench Soup"

This is disgusting, but it has to be told:

Today, I got sick at work. At around midday, I decided that I would make quick use of the bathroom. BIG MISTAKE! They must have turned off the ventilation system for the weekend. The stench was so overwhelmingly putrid that as soon as I walked into the cramped, foul-smelling bathroom, I gagged and almost threw up into the sink. It wasn't pretty. I took away from this experience two very important lessons: a) never use the restroom on the weekends b) during the week, never use the restroom after 3 p.m. Certainly, there is a hard-working custodian on-site who tries his best to deal with an untenable situation. Constantly cleaning two small, cramped bathrooms -- which are constantly being used by over 100 people -- is, however, a losing proposition. If Anita only had kept this in mind when choosing a site (instead of focusing on how many glass-encased cubicles there were going to be), we would be in much better shape.

I have an idea that can save the American taxpayers millions of dollars:

By way of the Los Angeles Times, I have learned about a new military initiative. The Pentagon actually has a multimillion dollar research and development program to make weapons that can stink an enemy into surrender.These weaponized stinks are pressurized into "canisters" that are to be launched at enemy troops, crowds of protesters, or any other targets deemed worthy of effervescent smells. They even come in different aromas. One of the "malodorants" (the Pentagon term) bears the label "Bathroom Malador" and it is described as having "a strongly fecal smell, with sharp notes of spoiled eggs and an undertone of rotting rodent." "Stench Soup" has such a foul odor that it "fills the mind with white noise." Wow!

Why not call up the Pentagon and inform them that we have come up with our very own version of "Stench Soup"? Just an idea.