The Sirens

"The high thrilling song of the Sirens will transfix him, lolling in their meadow, round them heaps of corpses rotting away, rags of skin shriveling on their bones ... Race straight past that coast!"

-Homer, The Odyssey (Book 12)

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Tom,

Just be thankful that only your financial and professional well being were harmed by these sweet sounding Sirens. I had the unfortunate chance to date one of these pea-brained, prada wearing, plastic phonies. Despite some initial misgivings, I hesitatingly sailed into port, and succumbed to one of their sweet sounding, soothing songs. Paralyzed by the hymns of "I love you," and "Be with you forever," I totally discarded any notion of common sense, and was completely oblivious to the fact that my Siren was fucking another sailor - a sailor who had a gf by the way!

Now cognizant of the truth, I confronted my Siren who denied the obvious, and enchanted me with yet another tearful swan song. She did this again and again, just as she was probably contemporaneously doing a hundred other sailors, again and again. Now with emotions and self-esteem in tatters, I sail off this island with the knowledge that the same underhanded techniques, plastic smiles, and phoniness that can be used to rob you of your self-worth and manhood are the same techniques that can be used to rob you out of your paycheck. Heads up for the Sirens!