Is Anita Back?

I received the following e-mail yesterday from someone on my project. It concerns an e-mail that he/she received from one of the agencies regarding the project. Tom the Temp's comments in bold.

Tom the Temp,

Anita may have been gone physically today but her handiwork is alive and well as evident by the below email from her agents at one of the agencies (looks like the old Anita is back).

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are all well. {doing okay aside from my mild case of carpal tunnel}. Thank you again for weathering what I know has been a rocky month {more than a month, it is March already} or so on this project. I understand from the folks who are running the site that things are about to pick up however, and I thought this would be a good time to remind you of some general policies {rules} that must be followed:

First, make absolutely sure that you sign in and sign out accurately, and that what you record on the sign in/sign out sheet is consistent with what you record on your timesheets. {don't overbill - I hope the "vanishing princess" isn't on this project}.

Second, cell phone use, internet use, {we don't have internet, remember?} and other personal/recreational activities {we weren't playing squash or anything} like puzzles – other than when you are on your breaks – must be kept to a very bare minimum. {not just a bare minimum, but a "very" bare mininum} We have received complaints about excessive {that is a strong word} amounts of all three activities. This policy may have been relaxed during the slow weeks, but it is VERY important again starting now and going forward. {sign that "lockdown" is coming}.

Finally, just a reminder that the attorneys managing the site do have the ability to track exactly what work you have done on a daily basis and when. {big brother is watching} If they feel they have any reason to question your attention to the work, they will verify your productivity, and low numbers combined with things like cell phone use, etc. will be a basis for being removed from the project. {this is fair - hopefully, however, no more public executions for people caught with a game of minesweeper}.

Thank you all for taking note of these policies. We reiterate them not to harass you, but to make absolutely clear what is expected, so that no one is asked to leave the project for failure to follow them out of lack of notice. {thanks for the heads up. I just wish that all of the agencies would have informed their candidates. I didn't receive any notice}.

Please be in touch and let us know how else we can support you throughout the project.
Again, with many thanks.

Is this just a friendly reminder, or a sign that we are on the verge of another "lockdown." Only time will tell.

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Dangerous Ideas

"Intellectual freedom is the right of every individual to both seek and receive information from all points of view without restriction. It provides for free access to all expressions of ideas through which any and all sides of a question, cause or movement may be explored. Intellectual freedom encompasses the freedom to hold, receive and disseminate ideas."

The freedom to express ideas is dead on my project. Apparently, when one attempts to log onto my site from work, the message "access denied" appears on the screen. It appears as if my site has joined the ranks of those "banned" materials which espouse dangerous ideas. Undoubtedly, employers have the right to restrict internet access and deny the viewing of certain sites. But why take the trouble to block my site? Could it be that they consider my site "dangerous"? What could be so "dangerous" about my site? Could it be that I pointed out the fact that temps in general make only 1/8th of what they are billed out for? Could it be that they didn't like the negative media attention generated when I pointed out that the temps on my project were being treated more like animals, rather than as human beings? Perhaps. Just a hunch.

Please do not allow anyone to "chill" your freedom of speech rights. I am noticing a disturbing trend in which the number of daily hits continues to be as high as ever, but the number of comments posted has continued to fall. Please post and get your message out. In posting, just use common sense.

Round 2

And The Great Project Resumes......

New York Divorce and Family Law

New York Divorce and Family Law, the definitive site about divorce, child support and custody.

Just A Note

2/9/06 - 8 p.m.-

I just had to respond to this comment.

"Everything you say may be based in reality but like a bad made for tv movie you like to stretch the truth to make your plight seem more dramatic."

Is it not true that someone was publicly humilated and fired for playing a game of minesweeper?

Is it not true that at 7 p.m. one night someone came out, told us to be quiet, and tried to pick a fight with us? How about that?

What about the supervisor telling people to sit up straight?

What about the "watch-list" that Anita admitted to?

Remember when the new people arrived on the project? Is it not true that the belongings of the old people were just tossed off the table like trash?

What about all of those tables stacked in front of the fire exit by the women's bathroom?

Is it not true that the project closed down for a week without notice, depriving people of the ability to land other projects so they could feed their families? Am I also making that up?

These are the facts. Deal with it. I would love to report on the improving work conditions on this project or any other project. All I see now, however, is a calculated public-relations campaign designed to uncover my identity and distort the truth.

Big "Owl" Is Watching You

A paranoid work environment is an environment which exhibits a pervasive pattern of distrust and suspiciousness. Namely, an inability to trust, distortion and fabrication, pathological mind-control, and instinctive aggressive counter-attack.

It's 2/2/06. All is quiet on the temp attorney floor. The quiet, humdrum of the constant clicking is the only noise which fills a lifeless room. Gasp! As quickly as lightning shoots across the summer sky, Anita emerges from her glass-encased cubicle. A sudden chill fills the air. Several temps caught off-guard by Anita's sudden emergence scatter to the wind. As we all have become acutely aware of Anita's tendency to feed upon her unsuspecting prey, we all brace.

Anita gazes around the room. Seemingly not in the mood to pick off another temp, Anita, in an apparent fit of boredom, heads off toward the Xerox machine. In stunned silence, we quietly watch as she photocopies and hangs up around the room over a half a dozen owl pictures. "Attention everyone," shouts Anita. "Don't read anything into this. The owls mean nothing. This is just to prevent you all from walking head-first into the glass-encased cubicles." As quickly as she emerged, Anita once again seals herself off within her glass cube.

The temps, meanwhile, stare at each other in stunned disbelief. What can this all mean? Of all things, why a picture of an owl? Why not a "beware of the glass" sign? Could it be that we are all reading too much into this -- maybe we should take Anita's word at face value? Who knows. For the rest of the day, everytime I look up, an owl stares down into my workspace. His eyes, piercing and always watching, brood over a hopeless temp attorney dumping ground.

The Legal Sweatshop Award

Irony is the spice of life. I see it everywhere. Last month, law.com listed Paul Weiss as its 2006 Litigation Department of the Year. Noted for their deft strategy and dogged work, Paul Weiss was noted for steering its clients through some pretty turbulent years. In terms of their public-interest work, Paul Weiss was noted for its victory in defense of the Santa Fe Living Wage Ordinance, which will likely have widespread implications on other living wage campaigns throughout the United States. Ironically, when it comes to the way in which they treat their own temporary workers, it's Tom the Temp's belief that their record is less than satisfactory.

For a short while, I actually temped at this firm. The conditions were horrific. There were about 15 of us -- half former biglaw associates/half recent graduates -- packed into a small, windowless conference room. It appeared as if the room had previously served as a supply closet. Every morning, in order to reach our workspaces, we had to climb over one another. At my workstation, I wasn't able to extend my arms, nor was I able to lean back, as I would have pressed up against those working around me. Because the review was paper-based, throughout the day boxes upon boxes of discovery documents would pile up around the room. In an emergency, things could have gotten dicey. Talking was forbidden. A heavy-set paralegal would periodically come around and bellow out in a deep, baritone voice to do, "more workin' and less talkin'." Like a child, you had to sign out to use the restroom. Additionally, if you arrived to work more than a half an hour late, you would have been required to go home for the day. Stalinism prevailed, as people were constantly being fired for speaking out of line. One day, a middle-aged woman, who had recently been laid off from her in-house job, broke down in tears.

After a few days in this hell-hole of a job, I just had to get out. I hopped off the project. The agency wasn't pleased. Late one night, I received an angry call from the agency recruiter demanding to know, "How could I?" Like an un-housebroken puppy who had just urinated on her new carpet, she demanded to know, "How dare I leave the job!" I was forever after placed on the agency's blacklist.

I am not alone in my assessment of this project. In the last couple of weeks, I have received numerous e-mails and reports detailing the harsh work conditions that temp attorneys face at this particular firm. Here are just some of the comments:

"We have to use a public, concourse-level bathroom where homeless people bathe and groom, there was a roach problem recently from other people leaving food/crap in the basement, so the place stinks of roach spray/bombs and there's Combat roach motels all over the place"

"basement, mice, falling ceilings"

"it's an utter hell-hole"

"The computer monitors are circa 1989 and the tubes are going bad, so the docs are hard to read as the type/fonts are blurry"

"the worst of the worst in terms of temping"

"it's like working at a construction site"

"Exits are blocked with boxes, wires and workstations"

"$21 an hour for both admitted and non-admitted attorneys"

"There is no internet because they don't trust us and no cell-phones because we are in the basement"

"Weiss pulled a real Bait & Switch - 2 days after I started they bumped the mandatory weekday hours from 9 a.m.-8:30 p.m. to 9 a.m.-11 p.m! A fourteen hour day!"

"Weiss is the most miserable place I have ever worked at and I have had alot of blue-collar jobs"

"bathroom filthy and inadequate"

On behalf of Chuckles the Chicken, Tom the Temp now presents Paul Weiss with the Temp Attorney Legal Sweatshop Award. Congratulations!

{Tom the Temp's award is based on his own personal opinion, relating to his own first-hand observations and those e-mails and reports that he has received from those who also have temped there.)

Sudden Surprise

After putting up with Anita, today at 5 p.m., after slaving away all week to reach overtime, Anita's ever loyal sidekick and another burnt-out associate handed us a bomb-shell. Escape from Stalag 17, an avid Tom the Temp reader, couldn't have put what happened today better:

"Today the burnt-out associate spent the day on her throne {within her glass encased cubicle} and then gave audience at 5:15 to make the order 'off with their heads.' She closed it {the project} down for a week or more."

Apparently, after having been promised six months of steady employment (many of us turned down other projects based on this assumption), over 100 of us were suddenly, without notice, dumped out onto the sidewalk just three weeks after the project had commenced. We were told not to return back to work until Monday, February 13th. Tom the Temp understands the contingent nature of contract labor. The ruthlessness, however, of making false promises, of raising the false expectations of people (many of whom are raising children and/or paying mortgages) about overtime and project steadiness/duration is truly unconscionable.

Hey, Hey/Yo, Yo - The Eunuch Has Got To Go!

Someone finally told off the Eunuch!

The Eunuch is a weak bully. The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy. Good managers manage, bad managers bully. Bullies bully to hide their inadequacy and weakness, and to divert attention away from their incompetence.

Tonight, the Eunuch emerged from his glass-encased cube, as he typically does after Anita leaves for the day, ready to pick a fight. In a condescending tone, he announced to the weary-eyed group (many of whom had been working since 8 a.m.) that we were to stop talking immediately, as it was "only" 7 p.m.

Typically, this is the type of condescending crap that you learn to deal with when you accept one of these gigs. Sometimes, however, a turning point may be reached when the employee finally realizes that they are not dealing with a normal human being like themselves, but with a dysfunctional, disordered individual who feels the need to exploit a fraudulent and broken system. One brave individual realized this and defiantly shouted out the simple word "So," in response to the Eunuch's observation that it was only 7 p.m.

Boy, was the Eunuch pissed. He hammered, stammered, and spun around a few times before demanding to know, "Who said that!" The Eunuch then went on to threaten us, in his always prepubescent voice, by asking us if, "Anyone has a problem with that?"

Yeah, Eunuch. Tom the Temp has a problem with it. He is sick and tired of putting up with your crap -- with your demeaning and domineering management style; with the bitterness that you are causing; with the low morale that you generating throughout the project. I have come to the sudden realization that you have just got to go.