Following the Publication of Julie Triedman's Article, Why Is Paul Weiss Firing People?

4/02/06- Good Job, Mr. Youngwood! This weekend I spoke to one of the people that you fired. This person was smart, engaging, and well-credentialed. By firing this individual (and many others like him/her), you did your clients a huge disservice. As a fellow poster recently said:

Firing JD's is a token resistance that will only result in negligence, malpractice, and professional embarassment for any firm using such tactics.

Wake up! Paralegals cannot make substantive legal judgments regarding responsiveness and privilege. Do you really think defense firms are going to risk producing reams of privileged documents to hungry plaintiff's firms? Or not producing documents they are required to produce under procedural law. Paralegals are simply not equipped to understand the substantive distinctions between responsiveness and non-responsiveness, especially in cases involving complex legal issues and hundreds of thousands of documents. A competent plaintiff's firm would benefit immensively from sloppy discovery work. Privilege judgments are extremely important and associates routinely blow privilege calls and produce privileged documents, even smoking guns, that should not be produced. How much worse would it be with paralegals doing the first level reviews?

Have some repect for the skills required to perform your job.

The question is will Mr. Youngwood have respect for our work?

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3/31/06- Today, I received the following e-mail. It is from a source with a verifiable/proveable identity. Apparently, the e-mail was written by a Paul Weiss Supervisor:

Hi {name removed for privacy reasons},

{removed for privacy reasons}. We also wanted you to know that it was not our fault that you were let go from the project. That happened from way on high, because of Tom the Temp and his blog/news article. Since the article said the JD's were coding documents ours was the team that got hit... All the JD"s are now gone and we have to retrain all non-JD people to replace them. It all sucked big time!

Anyway, {removed for privacy reasons}. Good luck with the job search, I am sure if you don't already have something that you soon will.

Take care and keep in touch.

{name removed for privacy reasons}

Wow! What an admission. Could it actually be the case that Paul Weiss is firing people for speaking to the media about safety and ethical violations? Need I remind Alfred Youngwood that whistleblowing is a legally protected activity?

The only way to deal with these problems is by improving the working conditions/raising the pay of temporary employees, and by reducing fees/providing better value to clients. The answer will not be found in mass-firings.

Submit an NF-3 forget about AOB?

Delta Diagnostic Radiology, P.C. v Progressive Cas. Ins. Co2006 NYSlipOp 50491(U) March 27, 2006 Appellate Term, 2nd Dept.
Another case where the court held in passing that "plaintiff was not required to establish the proof of mailing of its assignment of benefits form as part of its prima facie case inasmuch as plaintiff established that it submitted a proper NF-3...." The case also outlines briefly the purpose of a bill of particulars, its uses and limitations.

Be Sure to Oppose Motions in Writing

Careplus Med. Supply Inc. v Travelers Home & Mar. Ins. Co.
2006 NYSlipOp 50479(U) Appellate Term, 2nd Dept. March 27, 2006
If you do not oppose a motion in writing, you may not be able to appeal as the court may consider it an order entered on default. Perhaps this appellant should have considered making an order to show cause to vacate. Any thoughts?

Verification Requests Good For Something

Ocean Diagnostic Imaging, P.C. v Nationwide Mut. Ins. Co.
NYSlipOp 50477(U)Appellate Term, 2nd Dept.March 27, 2006
Court searches record and grants defendant's cross-motion for summary judgment based on outstanding verification citing see 11 NYCRR 65-3.8 [b] [3]) I guess those verification requests might be good for something after all.

Just Smacking on an NF-10 Not Enough Plaintiff

Magnezit Med. Care, P.C. v New York Cent. Mut. Fire Ins. Co.
2006 NYSlipOp 50473(U) Appellate Term, 2nd Dept. March 27, 2006
Plaintiffs need to provide some proof of mailing and just smacking an NF-10 onto their motion won't work if it doesn't match the bills.

Radiology Today v. Allstate Ins. Co.

Radiology Today P.C. v Allstate Ins. Co. - what not to do as a defendant putting in opposition Appellate Term, Second Department

Appellate Term, Second Department Busy - cases

A number of cases came down from the Second Department on March 27, 2006.

Ocean Diagnostic Imaging, P.C. v Nationwide Mut. Ins. Co. 2006 NYSlipOp 50477(U)
Appeals court searches record and grants defendant's cross-motion for summary judgment based on outstanding verification citing see 11 NYCRR 65-3.8 [b] [3]) I guess those verification requests might be good for something after all.

Tom the Temp Respectfully Requests A Meeting With Mr. Alfred Youngwood

4/1/06- Received several shocking e-mails today. You are not going to believe it. Details in the next posting. Stay tuned!

3/31/06- Still no word from Mr. Youngwood. He must be getting ready for the long weekend. While we are waiting, here is an e-mail which details the extreme level of micro-management that these poor souls have to face on a daily basis, in the Paul Weiss roach-infested basement:

Hello Everyone:

We would like to thank you all for your hard work, however, it has been brought to our attention that some of the firm's policies are being violated. We do understand that we work long hours here and that sometimes we all have things to do during lunch or dinner. We also understand that sometimes people have to take the morning off and come in at the lunch break. In addition, we know that we have been allowing you to continue eating full meals at your desk after the lunch or dinner hour has passed, while billing the client. Many of you will not be happy, but as of today this practice has to stop.

Going forward if you come in at the lunch break, you are not to bring your lunch with you and bill the client for eating. A snack at your desk while working is fine, but it is not acceptable to eat the whole meal unless you are on a break. We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.

More so, many of you are also spending time playing games, reading newspapers/magazines, sending text messages and even watching DVDs, this too must end. We are here to do a job, and even though many of you find it mind numbing and as boring as can be, playing games, reading newspapers and watching movies must be done during your break time.

Please let us know if you have any questions or comments about this email. Thank you for your compliance and your hard work.

Staff JD Litigation Clerk
Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison LLP
1285 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10019-6064


3/30/06- No word yet from Mr. Youngwood. I am sure he is very busy. He need not concern himself with the fact that dozens of the youngest, most vulnerable members of his profession are working with dead cockroaches in sweatshop-type conditions. Tom the Temp and Chuckles the Chicken may just have to pay Paul Weiss an in-person visit.

3/28/06- E-mail Sent.

Dear Mr. Youngwood,

I am the author of the anonymous blog -- http://temporaryattorney.blogspot.com. I was wondering if you could spare some time to discuss the issues discussed in the blog and in Julie Triedman's article. Many people have been unfairly dismissed for bringing these issues up with their agencies.

Tom the Temp


Since the agencies are too busy pandering and aren't available to ask the tough questions, I respectfully request a meeting with Mr. Alfred Youngwood, the managing partner of Paul Weiss.

I would like to know:

a) Why doesn't Paul Weiss engage in fair labor practices with regards to its temps, particularly recent graduates with no source of income, esteem, or direction?

b) How does Paul Weiss justify charging a client over $200 an hour to have a $21 an hour minion review documents in sweatshop-type conditions with dead cockroaches?

c) What is Paul Weiss doing to improve the unsanitary and unsafe working conditions of its temps?

I would also like to refresh Mr. Youngwood's recollection with regards to something he said in Julie Triedman's article. In it, he mentioned that, "some 'J.D. paras' work on the concourse level." I would personally like to remind Mr. Youngwood that I worked on the concourse level. I was employed as (and billed out as) an admitted attorney, not as a J.D. paralegal.

Witch-Hunts

The witch-hunts are on! I knew it was only a matter of time.

At Paul Weiss, Alfred Youngwood allegedly had a large lunch for all of the temps last week. Apparently, the firm has been trying to figure out who has been speaking to the media.

At another firm (which I promised not to name), an agency warned all incoming temps that a certain "troublemaker" (a.k.a. suspected blogger) was on the project.

On my project, the names of suspected bloggers are flying around the room. I wouldn't be surprised if the agencies have created (and are now leaking) a "short-list" of suspected bloggers.

None of this phases me. I am now at a point where I have learned to ignore the dirty tricks, gross exploitation, and petty politics of the agencies and firms. I can't control what others may do. All I can do now is concentrate on serving the corporate client in the best way that I can (which I am proudly paid to do), and by speaking out against an inefficient, unethical, corrupt, and exploitative system of legal services delivery.

Two for Plaintiffs

Going back a few weeks, plaintiffs got a couple more cases to help them battle their worthy adversaries in the defense bar (including me).

In Park Slope Med and Diagnostic, P.C. as Assignee of Oleg Khabiyev, 2006 NYSlipOp 50371(U) decided March 14, 2006 , the Appellate Term First Department held that on a motion to dismiss by defendent, it is not enough just for plaintiff to have failed to appear for an EBT. The court's brief decision takes note that defendant waited three years to press its demands.


In All County Open MRI & Diagn. Radiology P.C. v Travelers Ins. Co. , 2006 NYSlipOp 50318(U), decided March 3, 2006, the Appellate Term Second Department held that a peer review based solely on a lack of information, even if timely, absent a lack of verification, is not enough to defeat a motion for summary judgment by plaintiff.

If you know of any recent pro-defendant cases we should post, please send me an e-mail or comment to this post.

Economic Efficiency

Somebody left the following comment:

"Anyone who comes out publicly for temp rights at this point will never work in this town again.

The agencies just crew the ship and throw the bodies to the side.

The issue is whether we will allow the greedy partners at the large firms to continue to inflate their revenue at the public's expense by exploiting us. The increased costs to the clients are simply passed off to the public.

If the partners were not so greedy the firms would hire more people permanently to properly get the job done. If they even cared about the quality of the review work, which the don't. They really only care about bilking the client as much as possible so they can afford a bigger house in the Hamptons."

-- I couldn't have said it better myself.

Goldilox And The Three Moles

I work in a highly paranoid work environment. Every move made by Anita is carefully dissected, analyzed, re-analyzed, and scrutinized by the temps to the 9th degree. The simple occurrence of Anita being out for the day can generate hours worth of wild speculation and rumor-mongering. {Tom the Temp understands this phenomena. When you mislead people with regards to project duration/conditions, etc., this is the kind of work environment that you generate.}

The most recent rumor to pop up amongst the temps is that the worksite is loaded with moles. {A mole is a temporary attorney who secretly agrees to collect intelligence on his/her fellow co-workers in exchange for a higher pay rate. People are currently speculating that the "mole bounty" has recently increased due to the fact that the agencies/firms are so desperate to catch Tom the Temp.}

Who do people suspect are the moles? Well, for starters, we have Goldilox and the Bungling Bear. The two of them sit together all day, and they hardly speak to anyone. They are constantly whispering to one another and have been known to spend long periods of time sealed within Anita's glass-encased cubicle. Recently, it is alleged, they brought in "Mother Jones," their co-hort, who sits on the other side of the room. "Mother Jones" is rumored to have a special pad where she writes down all the intelligence that she has gathered on her cigarette breaks.

That leaves three moles. Well, what about the fourth? Who could it be? Could it be you? Could it be me? Could it be Tom the Temp? The paranoia goes on.

Plaintiff Must Complete Discovery as a Prerequisite to Moving for Summary Judgment

In a decision issued on February 17, 2006, the Appellate Term, Second Department reversed the Civil Court's granting of summary judgment to plaintiff where discovery was not complete as to defenses available to the insurance carrier. See
A.B. Med. Servs. PLLC v Utica Mut. Ins. Co., 2006 NYSlipOp 26068.

Plaintiffs A.B. Med., et al. moved for partial summary judgment on the standard basis that a claim had been submitted but not paid or denied in a timely manner. (Said motion was partial in that it appears that plaintiffs' only sought summary judgment as to a certain portion of the claims that are the subject of the Complaint.) Defendant cross-moved for an order compelling plaintiffs to provide responses to previously-served discovery demands.

Defendant further opposed plaintiffs' motion, pursuant to CPLR R. 3212(f), in that the outstanding discovery demands caused facts to be unavailable to them, and that said facts might provide a potential basis for opposing plaintiffs' motion on the merits. As to the merits, defendant also provided purported proof that the subject claims had been timely denied.

Civil Court, Kings County, by order of Judge Loren Baily-Schiffman, granted plaintiffs' motion for partial summary judgment, and denied defendant's cross-motion as to those claims for which summary judgment had been granted. As to those claims in the Complaint that were not the subject of the summary judgment motion, the Civil Court further granted defendant's cross-motion to the extent that plaintiffs were compelled to provide discovery responses concerning same.

In its decision, the Appellate Term discussed the propriety of discovery demands by an insurance carrier in a no-fault matter, which has historically been a matter of recurring dispute among parties at the trial court level. The Appellate Term reaffirmed the proposition put forth by many Civil Court judges in that any demands requesting information related to defenses that the carrier is precluded from raising are palpably improper. However, the Appellate Term broke from the general Civil Court trend by holding that demands related to defenses that are, by their nature, not subject to preclusion are proper and thus require compliance therewith.

Compare, e.g., Metropolitan Radiological Imaging v State Farm Mut. Auto. Ins. Co., 7 Misc.3d 675 (Civ. Ct., Queens County, Feb. 17, 2005) in which Judge Charles J. Markey held that "failure by an insurer to include a copy of its denial or demand for verification in a discovery motion, whether seeking to strike pleadings, preclude evidence, or compel discovery, or to furnish a justifiable, compelling reason for not including it, will be per se grounds for denial of the motion." Judge Markey does not even acknowledge the existence of non-precludable defenses, noting at various points that "an insurer will not be permitted to assert a defense not specifically made in the NF-10" and further that "[s]ince any reason for the denial of the claim must be specifically stated in the NF-10, that form must be included so that a reviewing court can pass on the propriety of the requested disclosure...."

In the post-Metropolitan v. State Farm era, the Civil Courts adopted the rationale of Judge Markey as a matter of routine. It is perhaps not pure coincidence, then, that the Appellate Term's decision in A.B. Med. v. Utica was issued on the one-year anniversary of Metropolitan.

In A.B. Med., the Appellate Term found that the carrier failed to prove that it timely dealt with plaintiffs' claims. However, they further found that some of the carrier's discovery demands concerned a non-precludable defense. In particular, they held that the decision in State Farm Mut. Auto Ins. Co. v Mallela, 4 NY3d 313 (2005), has the effect of allowing the allegation by the carrier of plaintiff's fraudulent corporate licensure to be interposed at any time, regardless of the existence of a timely denial setting forth same. It is well worth noting that this is the first time that a New York State appellate court has dealt with Mallela on the merits, and the Appellate Term now makes explicit a proposition that had previously appeared inherent and obvious to carriers, but preposterous to plaintiffs.

In light of the non-preclusion of Mallela-related defenses, the Appellate Term denied summary judgment to plaintiffs and granted defendant's cross-motion to the extent that plaintiffs must comply with certain specified demands. Thus, when plaintiff has not responded to discovery demands concerning defenses that either a carrier raised in a timely manner or may be raised at any time, it is reversible error for the Court to grant summary judgment to said plaintiff.

This discovery issue must now be taken into consideration by plaintiff prior to each summary judgment motion they seek to bring, and also by defendant each time they are served with such a motion. Defendants should be analyzing their demands for the presence of non-precludable defense concerns, as well as comparing their demands to any timely denials that may have been issued.

With regard to non-precludable defenses, the undersigned humbly suggests that Mallela is not the only game in town. To state the obvious, the classic matter of Central Gen. Hosp. v Chubb Group of Ins. Cos., 90 NY2d 195 (1997), provides that issues of causality and coverage are not subject to preclusion. However, it may be difficult to target discovery demands on those issues given that the medical providers are typically (allegedly) removed from the circumstances of any given loss. Still, other defenses should provide much more fertile ground for demands. As a starting point, I suggest a review (by litigants on both sides of these matters, as well as the judiciary) of the holdings in Rockaway Blvd. Med. P.C. v Progressive Ins., 9 Misc. 3d 52 (App. Term, 2d Dep’t, 2005) and Ozone Park Medical Diagnostic Associates v. Allstate Insurance Company, 180 Misc. 2d 105 (App. Term, 2d Dep’t, 1999).

EUO Endorsement Required to Toll 30 Day Rule

In Ocean Diagnostics Imaging P.C. v. State Farm Mut. Auto. Ins. Co. ; 2004-1541 K C. ; 2006 N.Y. Misc. LEXIS 459; ; NYSlipOp 50343(U) decided by the Appellate Term, Second Department on March 7, 2006, the court held that because defendant insurer failed to include the EUO endorsement in its opposition, its defense based upon failure to appear did not toll the thirty day period.

Separately, however, the court held that "[t]he affidavit submitted by defendant's special investigator was sufficient to demonstrate that the defense was based upon a "founded belief that the alleged injur[ies] do[ ] not arise out of an insured incident" citing Central Gen. Hosp. v Chubb Group of Ins. Cos.

The case arising out of an appeal from a ruling in Kings County demonstrates the need to be thorough in preparing opposition papers and the benefits of attaching all supportive documents.

American Lawyer Magazine

Check out Julie Triedman's article from the March issue of American Lawyer Magazine:

March 2006 SECTION: BARTALK Vol. 28

SLAVES OF NEW YORK;
Law firm temps are furiously blogging about their work conditions

AT 4 P.M. DOWN IN the basement of a large New York firm, a temporary attorney plots his escape. After days of staring into a flickering computer screen for 12 hours, he can't bear to code another document. The temp's destination is modest: a Starbucks across the street. But aside from lunch and bathroom breaks, he can't leave the floor. If he does, he'll lose his job.

At another firm, the temps were first assigned to a conference room with a window, but then transferred to a room they call "the pit."

These are the kinds of stories temps tell each other from the comfort of their anonymous blogs. And to hear them tell it, working conditions are awful now that law firms are hiring more temps to do the drudge work formerly reserved for associates.

There is Temporary Attorney, whose anonymous protagonist, "Tom the Temp," says he was downsized from a big firm; DC Temp, written by a self-described "attorney in waiting"; and Cribspace, whose author claims to be a 28-year-old licensed attorney recently employed at Cravath, Swaine & Moore. The relevant URLs are dctemp.blogspot.com, temporaryattorney.blogspot.com, and cribspace.blogspot.com.

One reason for the surge in temp work is that firms now perform more discovery than ever. Another is that many grads of second- and third-tier law schools are unable to land associate jobs at big firms. Rather than take a low salary at a small firm, they sign on for steady temp work with the big firms. (New York Law School, for example, says that its 2004 grads at small firms earn between $35,000 and $51,000.)

By contrast, temp agencies pay $19 to $25 an hour to unlicensed J.D.s. Licensed J.D.s can earn up to $35 per hour, and specialized lawyers can top $100 an hour, say two staffing agency recruiters. Most temps are paid time and a half when they work more than 40 hours.
But oh, the pain of it all. At most firms, temps do online document review, a process that involves reading e-mail and documents and tagging them with a code that states their relevance to the case at hand. It's grueling work, made more so by their invisibility.

"Tom the Temp" has sparked a lively debate by declaring the system inefficient and urging temps to unionize. But one of his anonymous posters calls the system efficient, saying, "The bottom line is that utilization of [temps] increases the revenue stream, and profits, for the partners at the firms where [they] are utilized." Otherwise, the source says, firms wouldn't use them.

That opinion was seconded by a partner at a top New York firm who spoke on condition of anonymity. This source says he uses temp lawyers because he can bill the work to clients at associate rates, or $180?$200 an hour. His firm pays the agencies $50?$65 per hour and pockets the rest. (Recruiters confirm those agency rates, but say that rates and law firm markups are dropping.)

One firm in particular has come under fire for its work conditions: Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison, which Tom recently named "Sweatshop of the Year."

Tom's complaints were corroborated by a Paul, Weiss temp who provided proof of his employment and spoke on condition of anonymity. This source says he was one of 40 temps working 12-hour stints six days a week at the firm's New York office. He says they were corralled in a windowless basement room littered with dead cockroaches, and that six of seven exits were blocked.

Paul, Weiss managing partner Alfred Youngwood concedes that some "J.D. paras" work on the "concourse level" and that in one room a few exits are blocked. But, he says, the firm complies with safety codes. He declines to say how much the firm bills clients for the work. These "are not the people who are getting billed out at $200 an hour," he says. "They're not doing legal work."

The Paul, Weiss temp disagrees. Along with coding for responsiveness, he says, he is expected to review for privilege. "It's true we spend probably 80 percent of the day bullshitting and wandering around," this temp confides. "But when you're paying an attorney $20 an hour, what do you expect?"

Welcome to our blog

For a law based on the idea no one is to blame, there sure is a lot of blame being thrown around for troubles with New York's No-Fault Insurance Law and Regulations.

Each week, we will cover new cases, regulations, changes in court rules and procedures in this area. Our main focus is on practice in the five boroughs around Manhattan, but we welcome posts about other locales as well. We also will have a few regular features like
Basics of No-Fault, Case of the Week, Question and Answers, and Ask our Readers. If you have any suggestions for more features or wish to contribute please send me an e-mail.

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Stupid Policy

Everyone looks forward to mid-week. Every Wednesday or Thursday, a woman from the agency which owns the site comes around and hands out paychecks. Temp Attorneys, however, who are members of any of the "other" agencies that staff the project do not receive paychecks. Here is an e-mail that one of my colleagues (who works for one of those "other" agencies) received from his/her recruiter. The e-mail dates back to 1/20/06. Relevant portions are highlighted in bold. I thought I would leave in the non-relevant parts to give you a flavor of what was going on earlier on in the project.

Hi All,

First of all, Thank You for your patience with the {computer software} delays that resulted in the unexpected “days off” today and tomorrow. [little did we know that in two short weeks we were going to have a whole week off! -ttt]. As you know, the first few weeks of a project are always the toughest, while systems are being put in place and everyone is settling in, adjusting to a new work environment and its unique culture.

Second, I just wanted to remind everyone of the importance of making a good first impression in these initial days in order to establish the client’s confidence in your reliability and commitment to the project. While the feedback we’ve gotten from the client has been extremely positive, we wanted to make you aware of one issue that did arise, so that you can avoid this problem going forward.

Apparently, within the first work week, there were a number of people with sudden needs to be absent, arrive late, leave early, or otherwise take time off. While most of these people were not members of {agency's} team, it was a large enough number of people overall that the client flagged it as an issue to raise with everyone.

Unfortunately, the nature of this project does not allow flexibility in the number of hours worked, or when you work them. As you know, the hours are 9:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m., 6 days per week. While we understand that emergencies do happen and that things like doctor’s appointments are important, “eleventh-hour” notice of a previously scheduled commitment is not acceptable. If you know ahead of time that you will need to take time away from the project, you must let us and the site supervisor know as far in advance as possible. Just so you know, because of the size of the project and the fact that it is being staffed by multiple agencies, the client is being extremely vigilant, noting not only which individual contractors are the most reliable and productive, but which agency’s teams perform better overall than the others. We know you are head and shoulders above the rest!

Finally, we apologize that we have not come over to visit with you, which ordinarily we would have done by now. It turns out that {agency which owns the site} has a policy of not allowing competitors into their space [and if it were up to {Anita}, she would be happy for us to come by]. We are disappointed about this policy because, as most of you know, we do like to stay in touch personally as much as possible – to say hello, to hear about any issues or concerns you may have, etc. So since we can't come to see you, we will be finding other ways to keep in touch and express to you our appreciation of all your hard work.

As always, please call or e-mail us any time if there's anything you want to talk about relating to the project [or anything else] – We’re here.

Have a great weekend!

{Sally}

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here was the solution devised in response to the apparent lockout: {it seems as if Tom the Temp has created his very own lexicon. Please distinguish the term "lockout" from "lockdown"}.

2/28/06

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to let you know that I will be at the Starbucks on the corner of 29th and Park Ave. South from 3 – 4 p.m. again tomorrow, Wednesday, March 1.

If you feel like taking a break during that time, please come by for refreshments!

Have a great evening,

{Sally}

In order to pick up their checks, your telling me that a group of my fellow co-workers have to trek up to some street corner in Manhattan like a bunch of hookers? Oh, Give Me A Freaking Break! This policy appears to make no sense; it seems vindictive and mean-spirited, and it appears as if its only justification is to spite the other agencies. The temps, as they usually do, have to pay the price. It's freezing out -- many people risk becoming sick, and many of them do not have health insurance. The temps also have to put up with the added annoyance of clocking out and losing a half an hour worth of pay. It appears as if there are a group of people on my project who are being treated like second-class citizens. If this stupid policy does not cease, or if this policy is not justified in some way, I am going to publicly announce the name of the agency that is responsible.

This is something that Anita should have thought about before signing the agency contract. Once again, she was probably too entranced by the glass-encased cubicles to realize otherwise.

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"Stench Soup"

This is disgusting, but it has to be told:

Today, I got sick at work. At around midday, I decided that I would make quick use of the bathroom. BIG MISTAKE! They must have turned off the ventilation system for the weekend. The stench was so overwhelmingly putrid that as soon as I walked into the cramped, foul-smelling bathroom, I gagged and almost threw up into the sink. It wasn't pretty. I took away from this experience two very important lessons: a) never use the restroom on the weekends b) during the week, never use the restroom after 3 p.m. Certainly, there is a hard-working custodian on-site who tries his best to deal with an untenable situation. Constantly cleaning two small, cramped bathrooms -- which are constantly being used by over 100 people -- is, however, a losing proposition. If Anita only had kept this in mind when choosing a site (instead of focusing on how many glass-encased cubicles there were going to be), we would be in much better shape.

I have an idea that can save the American taxpayers millions of dollars:

By way of the Los Angeles Times, I have learned about a new military initiative. The Pentagon actually has a multimillion dollar research and development program to make weapons that can stink an enemy into surrender.These weaponized stinks are pressurized into "canisters" that are to be launched at enemy troops, crowds of protesters, or any other targets deemed worthy of effervescent smells. They even come in different aromas. One of the "malodorants" (the Pentagon term) bears the label "Bathroom Malador" and it is described as having "a strongly fecal smell, with sharp notes of spoiled eggs and an undertone of rotting rodent." "Stench Soup" has such a foul odor that it "fills the mind with white noise." Wow!

Why not call up the Pentagon and inform them that we have come up with our very own version of "Stench Soup"? Just an idea.

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