The Return Of "Frankendine"

The ghastly E.P. Dine temp agency (a.k.a. "Frankendine") is at it again. I knew it was only a matter of time before "Frankendine" would awaken and once again terrorize and try to rip off young attorneys:

"A few of us were employed at EP DINE for a job with the NYC Legal Dept. We were told it would be 40 hours per week with no weekends.

The supervisor at NYC Legal insisted that we work on weekends - she was aware that all of us had put in 40 hours. Usually this isn't a problem - you do whatever the boss says and get paid. All of us worked really hard. We were all hired by Shawn Treadwell. We all thought he was a nice guy, but he wound up firing those of us that demanded our pay.

EP DINE refused to pay anything over the 40 hours - between all of us that was over 100 hours.

I am astounded that we were dropped for asking for our pay.

NYC Legal conditions were also awful; there were giant roaches walking near the kitchen - signs posted by people about it - just gross."

David Perla - Anti-American Traitor

David Perla (UPenn undergrad/J.D.) in a vain attempt to gain publicity and promote his traitorous and fledging outsourcing business, boasts about shipping American legal jobs overseas in a recent law.com article: http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1200996336809

"In {David Perla's} view, the temporary lawyers typically hired to perform document review on major litigation have minimal skills and zero motivation. In contrast, Pangea3 can attract the best and the brightest young lawyers in India, fluent in English and trained in English common law. Perla said clients have held "bake-offs" in which the Pangea3's Indian lawyers were asked to perform the same tasks as U.S. contract lawyers. He said the Indians soundly trounced the Americans."

Perla grossly generalizes and unfairly attacks the intelligence and work-ethic of my fellow American middle-class colleagues.

As a fellow blogger so aptly put it, "I dare Mr. Perla to walk into a contract review and say that to young attorneys' faces. I suppose I could craft a similar mold for Mr. Perla. The greedy entrepreneur who views himself as superior to most of his own colleagues and uses it as a justification for shipping American jobs overseas to be performed cheaply for his own profit." http://wickedwords.blogspot.com/2008/01/my-progress-and-outsourcing-rant.html

The "Update Legal" Shearman & Sterling Project

Looks like the Stepford Wives are up to their old good cop/bad cop routine:

"Some of the associates are really nice and understand that the rules suck. There are two who take the rules as license to go on a power trip. Lots of people have left and others are trying to find the escape hatch.

The only thing we were told on the phone when we signed up was the pay, location, and that it was a good place to be. At Update orientation the morning of the first day, we found out that it's strict hours, and they don't like it if we talk. 4 hours into it, we found out THE WHOLE TRUTH:

Pay:
- $35 an hour, straight.

Hours:
- Strict time - 9:30 - 7:30.
- 45 minute lunch
- ONLY from 12:45 - 1:30.
- Call Update to say you are taking longer lunch, and get the riot act thrown at you.

Talking
- Update told us the day it started (not on the phone when they wanted us to say yes we'll take it) that Shearman doesn't like it if people talk. Don't turn your chair to talk to one another. She wasn't kidding. They walk around watching you to see what you are doing and they will tell you off for talking.

Breaks:
- must write down all breaks.
- bathroom
- cell phone
- food
- blackberry messages / texts
- Started out with they won't dock us if it is up to 10 minutes.
- Changed to anything over 5 minutes and they will dock your time for the day. So if it's 8 minutes, you lose 3. But 5 breaks at 5 minutes each is okay. Makes no sense but neither does the rule. You still have to write it down, if it's under 5 minutes.

Internet
- No Internet at desk
- One internet computer for 20+ people
- modified 1 week later. Now only during lunch there are 2 computers - very difficult to get on so don't bother.

Food
- no eating at desk at all
- modified 1 week later. Now you can have snacks but lunch should be in the eating area. Oh, and nothing smelly.

- On the 3rd day they said our productivity was too low and we need to amp it up. We did. They ran out of work/computer problems/ can't upload docs fast enough and this Tuesday we were sent home after 3 hours. Update said they wouldn't pay us for the 4th hour. I guess some people pointed out that it's in our contract and they relented.

-- They walk around pretending they are trying to find out if you need help, but really it's to make sure you're not doing ... well, anything."

"Neutron Jack"

Rode the Acela train this weekend, and had the added misfortune of sitting in front of two white-haired, loudmouthed biglaw partners - they were so loud that someone even politely asked them to shut-up. One of the partners was from Debevoise & Plimpton, as clearly indicated by their tastelessly ugly Debevoise & Plimpton handbag. In between discussions of an Italian villa vacation share, and an upcoming commercial arbitration where privileged information was clearly being blabbered off to several unsuspecting ears, the Debevoise partner went on to mention how he was currently in the process of preparing for an upcoming paper/seminar. The upcoming paper entitled, "What lawyers can learn from Jack Welsh", clearly garnered the approving support of the drooling partner's traveling sidekick. If Debevoise's past actions are any indication (See- http://temporaryattorney.blogspot.com/2006_12_01_archive.html), it seems evident that the firm is already adept at implementing and executing some of Neutron Jack's cut-throat employment practices.

The Hudson Legal "Newark" Project : Strike?

"There's been a rumor of a big temp attorney strike at the Hudson Newark project. Apparently, they've been desperate to fill the jobs, and the temps have some decent leverage. Word is some people might put a walk-out together and demand Dr. King's day back."

I really hope this is true. It's time for some structure, people. The firms, temp agencies, predatory banks, and TTT law schools are continuing to eat us alive. How much more non-dischargeable law school debt will they be allowed to pile on top us? For the fifth straight year, will you just sit back and allow them to yet again "deflate your rate"? Will you lose yet another P.T.O. (not just any P.T.O, but one belonging to Dr. King), while profits per partner continue to soar? I hope not.

Also, Tom the Temp will be in D.C. in the coming days and plans to meet up with the newly established "D.C. Temp Attorney Underground". I also want to thank the Philadelphia Black Sheep for doing one hell of a job down in the Rebel Capital. http://blacksheepcontractatty.blogspot.com/ We are utterly disorganized at this point, but what we do have is a good, small first step.

The Hudson Legal "Newark" Project : Signing Into The Penitentiary

"They have color-coded pens for sign in's that they randomly change every 2 hours to prevent time sheet fraud. What a lovely 'profession'! After 7 years of grueling higher education, get ready to be treated like a criminal.

Speaking of criminals, the first day at any doc review is very much like the opening scene of the Shawshank Redemption - the "prisoners" walk in in their suits and ties while the "lifers" heckle and cajole these "new fish" from their khaki sweatpants and Salvation Army golf shirts. "New fish, new fish, hey new fish, we got some fresh fish today." They all cry out like babies the first day on the gig. A doc review is a lot like a prison. The smallest things in life take on primeval importance- an extra cup of coffee, a slab of sticky bun, an extra 12 seconds in the restroom. Treat people like animals, and animals they become."

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Martin Luther King Jr. Day was originally founded as a holiday promoted by labor unions in contract negotiations. After King's death, Rep. John Conyers (D-Michigan) introduced a bill in Congress to make King's birthday a national holiday, highlighting King's activism on behalf of trade unionists.

As someone previously mentioned, Hudson has decided that instead of giving its contractors six paid holidays as it has in the past, they have decided to give only five. The holiday that they got rid of? MLK day. Many firms and agencies have followed suit. So, sad, but I guess it is a sign of our times.

The Hudson Legal "Newark" Project : Meet the Cast

"The cast walk on stage one at a time, like a scene from a Thornton Wilder play.

First you have David, the anal retentive, "tries to be funny" ex-airline pilot, who actually thinks this bullshit doc. review is just as important as battling a wing fire at 30,000 feet. I'd let the guy fly me anywhere.

One wonders how a guy like David who once captained 400 foot wingspans on 747's and flew combat missions or their equivalent(s) could derive any satisfaction whatsoever from wandering around a puppet firm as a boot-licking 3rd class citizen with a Hudson Legal license plate perpetually tied around his neck. You're better than this washed-up billing camp, David. Take back to the the skies. McCarter might pay better, but it's a colossal waste of your talent, and deep down you know damn well that I'm right. Life's short, don't waste it on this Seraquil crap. Not all of us have the balls to fly an airplane. You are better than this and we all f'ing know it. Use it.

The poor guy just seems to be worth much so more than this paper-churning straw-boss bullshit. Interestingly, a couple girls in my room have a huge girl-crush on him. He does wear a necktie every day. After all, we all gotta believe. Take back to the skies, David. I'm sure flying gets dull too, but you esp. are far better than this absurd paper-churning BS.

And then there's Vlad, a fat, jovial, semi-jolly, cigarette smoking sort of chap who counters David's "company man" routine with a nightclub bouncer's menacing, forceful, & vaguely threatening, yet somehow comical, heft. You'll like him.

Like Laurel & Hardy, they balance each other out. While David is the "by the book" "let's keep the client happy" type, Vlad has a refreshing "I don't really give a f++k" mentality, although his vague rebellions are often quickly squelched by David's anal-retentive," by the book geekishness.

Then there's the straw bosses Lisa & Omar.

Omar seems like a happy, accessible, honest down to earth type who (truth be told) would rather be anywhere than this miserable, top-down, authoritative NJ doc review shithole. Omar, if you're reading this, get the hell out! You seem like the type that would do well in any type of business, even sales! C'mon, you hate telling us to fold up our newspapers and get to f'ing work! You'd rather be accomplishing something positive for the world. God knows this bullshit Seraquil lawsuit is certainly not. I could see a guy like you doing well in pharma sales, IP, or even a totally non-legal field, making much better money than the Hudson crap-rate. You're a good guy and worth a lot more than this garbage, man. I'm dead serious.

Lisa can be nice, but she is way too anal about certain commands from above.

Each day they line up in groups of 50 for "intake", looking spiff plus with their Hillfiger ties and Macy's Alfani suits. Little do they know that a document coder can wear overalls with a wifebeater, corncob pipe, and pajamas and encounter no wrath. It's a 40 year wait until social security (and of course no 401k). By that I mean the best salary they'll ever be offered! Let's hear it for Hudson!

Sadly, the gig is like deja vu for us older coders, who've already been chewed up, swallowed, and spit out by the legal system. Yes, there's no meals, no internet, no car service, and certainly no respect for the soon to be infamous Seraquil review. As we speak, legends are being spun. No Internet access, no newspapers, windowless heat chambers, and the ubiquitous "gung ho troops" bullshit that would be expected as fry cooks at a KFC. Each document coder is alloted 32 square inches of personal space. The computers & monitors are rented; the lords of this project are Vlad, David, Omar, Lisa."

The Hudson Legal "Newark" Project

"First off: facilities. This is Newark. One of the Top 5 most dangerous cities in America, 20 years strong. First thing you see from the PATH train is a Combat Roach Motel billboard rising proudly through the smog. (By the way, there is no meal or transportation allowance whatsoever on this gig since we are working less than 110 hours per week). You gotta pay to play in Newark, baby! The nearby "restaurants" include a homeless guy cooking hot dogs on a smoldering trash can filled with newspapers.

The project is at McCarter & English, near One Newark Center. It is close to Newark Penn Station, but we were still advised not to venture out after dark unless we are in groups of 3, presumably so that at least one document coder survives any drive-by shootings or any other stray munitions. A one year military tour in Iraq might be a safer, and would certainly pay a better rate. There have been no fatalities thus far, but give it time.

First things first. A lot of older lawyers on this gig - silver hair abounds. Perhaps some were/are retired solos, or maybe "law school as a second career" types. Fair enough. Their generation was trained to take pride in their work, to ask questions, to have individual input, etc. They have a bizarre and shameless desire to apply their ultra-boring life experiences to the thrilling adventure of document coding. Sad. None of which, it goes without saying, are especially prized in today's top-down legal world of "biglaw".

Not a minute of training goes by without some blue haired geezer reminiscing, like Grandpa Simpson, about some case they remembered from 1965 that reminds them of this project. Many of these poor saps are first-time doc reviewers, fresh to the slave quarters and still feeling out of place in this legal underworld. One older guy actually had the audacity to ask whether Subchapter VII(b)3 of the Omnibus Paper Churning Act of 1863 would be in play "vis a vis this project."

The incredulous look on our "trainer's" face in response to this was worth a thousand bucks. It was as if a field slave from some ante-bellum Alabama plantation had asked the overseer what price cotton was bringing in this week at the auction! The older gentleman didn't realize that he wasn't a "lawyer" anymore, but merely a "document coder." A coder does not ask any "big picture" questions, or pretend to care about the eventual outcome of the case. A coder is the plantation slave who fills his burlap sack with cotton, runs it thru the gin, and eats his plate of slop without complaint to avoid a public flogging.

It makes no difference if this old coot was once the senior partner at some strip-mall law firm in Kearney, NJ back in 1962. He is now Coder 46562, not a human being. His job is to plow through mountains of shitpaper, sign out to take a piss or pass his gallstones, and get right back to the plantation. Like "Red" in The Shawshank Redemption, he's an "institutional man" now. He must ask permission to piss, fart, use the phone, or have a bowel movement. It's funny how much trouble some of these older people have in adjusting to what for us Gen Y'ers is already an ingrained way of life. He'll get on the beam soon enough, but in the meantime it's prolonging the agony of training."

Freelancers Union

"Hi Tom the Temp,

Re: Health Care/Sick Leave Laws

Legislation requiring health insurance for all employees is a
necessary step that, unfortunately, is not a reality for all legal temps at this time.

I have worked as a legal temp in New York for two years and have been
struck by the inability of temporary attorneys and paralegals to work
together to obtain decent and affordable health insurance. We're an
educated and resourceful group, but we're scattered and transient.
There is, however, an organization that unites an independent labor
force and offers them the chance to obtain affordable health
insurance- Freelancers Union. Your blog is great place to launch my
proposal for a letter writing campaign to request that The Freelancers
Union cover legal temps.

Freelancers Union has been mentioned in the comments section of your
site a few times, but I don't believe there has been a focused effort
on advocating the admittance of legal temps into the union. Currently, the
Freelancers Union offers health insurance in 31 states and life and
dental insurance in 50. It allows independent workers not only from
the arts and entertainment, but also Media, Financial Services,
Technology and Traditional health care fields. There is no reason that
independent workers in the legal field should be excluded.
So, please, I'm asking that readers of this blog, legal temps, and
friends of legal temps please contact Freelancers Union stating that
there is a need and demand for coverage of independent legal workers.
membership@freelancersunion.org

718.222.1099
800.856.9981 (toll free)
Fax: 877.707.3576 (toll free)
Member Services
Freelancers Union
45 Main Street, Suite 710
Brooklyn, NY 11201

http://www.freelancersunion.org/

Until legislation requires health insurance for all employees. obtaining insurance through Freelancers Union is the best hope for independent legal workers that need affordable, comprehensive insurance."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

In other news, the Hudson Legal "Newark" project is up and running full tilt. You have no doubt seen Hudson carpet bombing craigslist with ads for the $35 an hour Newark, NJ review, which has been generating a lot of noise online since it's the first huge "cattle call" project in quite a while. Not since the infamous Paul Weiss sweatshop have so many entry-level doc reviewers been dumped aboard a single gig. Rumor has it that 500-600 heads will be on the job by early February. A full report in our next posting. Stay tuned.........

http://newyork.craigslist.org/jsy/lgl/539737228.html/

Sacre Bleu! Foreign Language Document Review Fraud?

When it comes to contract attorney document review, knowing a foreign language can be quite lucrative, not only for the job candidate, but also for the agency staffing the project. Of course, in the unregulated, wild wild west world of contract lawyering, where there is big money, there is the potential for fraud.

Yesterday, I received the following complaint. Until I am able to independently verify the accuracy of the alleged claim, I have removed the names of all the involved parties:


"It has come to my attention that {agency} solicited
fraud from its contract attorneys. {Client}
contracted with {agency} for foreign language
document review services, and required that attorneys
staffed by {agency} pass a reading comprehension
test. {Agency} permitted applying attorneys to
re-take the test repeatedly, until the attorney met
the client’s required score.

The reason that I know this is because I am one of the
attorneys instructed by {agency} to retake the test.

I went downtown and spoke to people in Grievances this
afternoon. Tomorrow I file my complaint against
{agency}, {person}, and {person}."

Health Care/Sick Leave Laws

Several new health care/sick leave laws may effect contract attorneys in several big city markets:

D.C. could become the second U.S. city to require employers to provide paid sick leave to all workers. The D.C. Council is scheduled to vote on the measure Jan. 8:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/12/27/AR2007122702322.html


San Francisco already requires agencies to provide contract attorneys with paid sick leave. Today, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals also upheld a San Francisco ordinance which will now allow for universal health care within the city. A similar law is being proposed within the California legislature.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/01/09/BAQIUC2V1.DTL

Hypocrisy

While I was away last week, an interesting story came out regarding disciplinary action taken against a contract attorney in Chicago:

The story generated some interesting commentary on the various legal websites. One of my favorites:

"As Atticus Finch told his daughter Scout in the famous film To Kill a Mockingbird, 'you never really know a man until you've walked around a while in his shoes.'

Have you ever done document review? Do you know what it's like to sit in the windowless sub-basement of Paul Weiss in midtown NYC for 16 hours a day, lacking health insurance while people cough and wheeze in an unventilated room 6 inches away from each other? If there was a fire, we'd all have burned to death since the fire exits were blocked with box upon box of corporate documents.

Topping it all off, the pay was a whopping $21 an hour for admitted lawyers. We'd sit for mandatory 16 hour days on cast-off furniture from a dumpster staring into burned-out tube monitors from 1989.

They'd come and spray for roaches down there each evening, and the next morning the dead critters would be all over your keyboard and even on your chairs!

We weren't allowed to use the firm's bathroom- they made the temps use the 'concourse' restroom under Rock Center, which was open to the public. Homeless people would bathe in there and defecate all over the floor."

"Where was the ethics committee when Paul Weiss sprayed toxic insecticide in a windowless sub-basement where temps were confined for 18 hours a day? How about when Paul Weiss blocked the fire exits with their bales of makework shitpaper? People from shit law schools are less than fucking human to Paul Weiss. That {expletive} Alfred Youngwood (PW managing partner) lied to the American Lawyer about the work the temps were doing.

Fact is that many illegal aliens working in kitchens and slaughterhouses had better OSHA-compliant workplaces than the fucking ATTORNEYS at Paul Weiss.

I applaud that contract attorney- he's a modern day Robin Hood. Those {expletive} have all the money in the world & raise associate pay by leaps and bounds, yet contract lawyer pay remains stuck at the same $32 an hour it's been since 2002.

We need a contract attorney union to stop this shit cold. It's nothing short of scandalous what these "firms" get away with. Even the lowest lowlife ambulance chaser on Lower Broadway treats lawyers with more respect than Biglaw."

Happy New Year! - Deflate the Rate

-David Lat, "Profits vs. Partners", New York Observer.


On the above chart, I have superimposed in red C.A. hourly rates. While profits per partner, agency profits, and law school tuitions continue to skyrocket, some firms/agencies are taking advantage of the New Year by not only trying to freeze hourly rates, but deflate them, as well!

From craigslist:

"25 temp attorneys needed for document review starting Jan 14th - Must be licensed in NY and have experience. 2-3 months, 34.00/hr straight time - 50 hours a week"


Remember, inflation? $35 in 2004 was worth much more than $35 is today.

Are we just going to sit back like a bunch of quiet, docile, buttoned down professionals, while our hourly wages continue to plummet into the toilet? I think not.