The Awful Truth

"Funny story for y'all, kids. I was in King's Supreme Court the other day on a typical gutter-assed trip n' fall case. The bottom-feeding Insurance Defense lawyer who was my adversary introduced me to his firm's "summer intern." She was a nice looking girl about 24 yrs old, with a smart-tailored blazer and a big legal pad for taking notes, etc. When this combed-over JC Penny wardrobe-wearing loser adversary of mine went to "conference" another case ("conference" in toilet law means getting screamed at for 10 minutes by a law clerk and filling out a toilet stip that you can wipe your butt with), I proceeded to ask the intern where she went to law school, what year she was, etc. Turns out she is at one of the infamous TTT (third tier toilets) on Long Island. Next I asked her grades and the number was not top 10%, nor even close to it.

Then I started in on my tirade about salary etc. I asked her if she knew that most gutter firms are paying 45 K or less with no benefits (including the well-known boiler room she was interning at). I then asked if she had any scholarships/grants and that was a "no" too.

She seemed genuinely hurt, confused, and upset after I got done laying my old big debt, small law blog routine on her. I could tell she really didn't want to believe that 45 K is the best you'll do (if you get a job at all) coming from a TTT diploma mill school. She said she'd heard that starting salaries were going up and up, etc. The poor thing hadn't given future income any thought at all until I laid my spiel on her. Another victim of the "Biglaw raises pay to 160 K" schtick touted by the sub-human scum at the ABA and their enablers like the Valvoline Dean, Pat Hobbs.

It is really sick what these toilet-sucking diploma mills are doing to kids. I told this girl right before her ID law "mentor" came back that she should drop out right now, and not throw good money after bad. I told her that law is a dead-end, miserable job. I told her to take a good look around the courtroom we were in (King's Supreme). I told her to look at the unshaven slobs, blood-shot eyes, JC Penny wardrobe, beer guts, etc. Take a look at these clowns squinting to read the NY Post b/c their gutter firms have no eyeglass/optic plan. Look at the bad teeth from no dental insurance. Imagine riding 2 hours on the train from some aluminum-sided tract house in a ghetto and trying to explain to your children why they have to eat spaghetti and Ramen noodles for supper every nite. Take a good, hard look, because this is your future.

Question is, why can't we get the word on salaries/working conditions out in the mainstream? Why is everyone (esp. TTT law students) so incredoulous that law pays so God-awful poorly nowadays? If you stopped 100 non-lawyers on the street and asked what they thought an entry-level lawyer salary was, what % do you think would pick 45 K? The gutter schools use this naiveity and cultural dissonance to their advantage. I mean, it just doesn't seem (or sound) possible that an admitted lawyer with 7 years of education and a bar exam pass under his/her belt can be worth 12-15K less than a garbage man, does it? I always made a huge point to tell friends, family, and even stragers on the street how gutter-sucking awful lawyer salaries are, but the problem is no one believes it. You might as well tell folks a UFO lands on your roof every nite as you tell them you're a licensed attorney making 45 K.

There is a WSJ reporter working on a toilet law story. I will post his contact info once my interview w/ him is done. Tom the Temp is also speaking with him. Once we get this info published in a respected national newspaper, perhaps other newpapers/magazines etc. will wake up and reaize that law is a dead "career." There is biglaw and there is nothing else. Law is as all or nothing as it gets- if law were the food industry you would have the Four Seasons and McDonald's with nothing in between."

-- Law Is For Losers